A process of healing, focusing and rebuilding to piece myself back together

Transcribed story

"A process of healing, focusing and rebuilding to piece myself back together"
from Germany

I was born and grew up in Germany. I came to Canada to Vancouver on November 8, 2006. I had a work- and travel visa for one year and I met my future husband one week later. He was French-Canadian and we married on February 19, 2008. We had our church wedding in my hometown in Germany on May 3, 2008, to celebrate our wedding with my family and friends. It was a beautiful wedding and the best day of my life. My life has changed in the blink of an eye in 2017. First, I lost my right arm above the elbow on March 19, 2017, in a work accident and then my husband was diagnosed with cancer on November 28, 2017. Unfortunately, he lost his battle and passed away on May 5, 2018. And this was not the only loss. I had two other losses in the same year. This was a shock. The grief, sadness, pain, and tears were brutal. I had a lot of support from my family and friends. But I knew I needed professional help as well. I talked to a psychologist and I took advantage of the services that COHA offered. I had individual counseling as well as group counseling and it helped me immensely. I met a lot of great people who experienced the same as me – the loss of their spouse. It is not a shame to ask for help. Especially, when unexpected tragedies happen in your life and you must deal with the challenges, obstacles, and problems at the same time. And not to forget the grief. What keeps me going? My determination, resilience, and stubbornness. And my husband. I know his spirit will always be with me and he wants me to be happy in my life and enjoy my life again. He always believed in me and encouraged me to do whatever I wanted to do. I always had his trust and support. I have dreams, wishes, and goals for my future and I will work hard to accomplish them. I know my husband would want the same for me. Unfortunately, I could not go back to my previous job. I had to do retraining. I decided to do a training in the event industry. I went to Trebas Institute in Toronto in 2020 to take the Event- and Management program. I graduated from college and I received a diploma. I moved from Kelowna to Toronto two years ago. I love driving and I decided to drive from Kelowna to Toronto and it took me five days to arrive here. It was such a great road trip driving through five provinces and seeing the beauty of this country. A lot has happened since I moved to Toronto. I met a lot of great people. I did two different trainings to educate myself. And I volunteer at Scott Mission. It is a great place to volunteer and great people to work with. I love sports but my favorite sport is soccer. I'm a huge soccer fan and I'm a member of the Suedkurve Toronto - FC Bayern Fan Club in Mississauga. But the greatest joy for me after going through all this is being a Canadian now. I was a Permanent resident for 16 1⁄2 years. I applied for Canadian citizenship last year and I've been officially Canadian since May 8, 2023. I'm a proud Canadian and I love this country with all my heart. It is such a beautiful country and the nature is stunning and it amazes me over and over again. I love nature and traveling and this is one of my dreams and on my bucket list – to drive across Canada. My other passions are baking and cooking. I love to bake and cook. I experienced how quick life can change and how quick life can be over. We should take nothing for granted. Life is too short and life is too precious. I want to enjoy every single day of my life. I worked extremely hard to be there where I am now. I am dealing with challenges, obstacles, and prejudices since I'm an amputee. But I'm willing to make sacrifices and compromises and find solutions for problems to accomplish my goals. But it doesn't matter what life will throw at me. I will never give up and fight for it. Giving up is not an option. And my husband didn't want me to give up either. I'm very proud of myself for how far I have come and what I have accomplished so far. And I know my husband would be very proud of me as well. I wish he would be still alive to witness everything I did. But he is my guardian angel now watching me from heaven. His spirit will follow me on my path in my life. And I will always love and remember him. I do believe everything happens for a reason it does not matter if it is good or bad what happens in your life. Sometimes what looks like an obstacle in your path is actually a gift meant to move you in a different direction. Never lose hope and faith. Believe in yourself. Believe in your strength and follow your dreams. Don't let your fear hold you back from your dreams. Just do it. You don't know how much time you have left in your life. You don't want to regret one day that you didn't do all the things you wanted to do. Never give up on something you really want. It is difficult to wait, but more difficult to regret. Especially as long you are healthy. It is never too late for anything. Live your life and forget your age. Surround yourself with positive, nourishing, and uplifting people who believe in you, encourage you to go after your dreams, and applaud your victories. Walk away from people and situations that threaten your peace of mind, self-respect, self-worth, values, and morals. Live your life to the fullest because you never know when it will end.